One of the most important things for young people is to build a sense of self-worth. In order to build this sense of worth it is imperative that teens have a lot of encouragement and get chances to try things on their own that build confidence in their abilities. One other thing that seems to have a really big impact is way they talk about themselves.
The old adage "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," should really be applied to the way we talk about ourselves as well. I hear a lot of students saying things like "I'm so dumb!" or something similar. Usually this kind of talk reflects what they feel about themselves inside. It helps to hear others say good things about you, but if you consistently contrast that with the negative thoughts you feel about yourself, it is hard to feel a true sense of self-worth.
One thing that I do to combat this is my classroom is by simply not allowing anyone to say anything mean or negative about anyone including themselves. When I hear a student say something like that, I make them repeat after me "I'm (name) and I am smart, kind, and people like me!" or something like that. I usually make them repeat the opposite of the negative thought they have voiced. For instance, if Joey calls himself dumb, he has to repeat after me a saying about how smart, intellegent, and downright genius he is.
The thing about this type of behavior modification is that it needs to be done with a sense of humor because they don't believe it themselves quite yet. But after repeating something positive after you a few times, they stop berating themselves openly. It doesn't mean that they have all positive self-talk in their minds, but it is a great way to start!
Rebekah Engle is a teacher in an alternative high school. She is very involved in her community and writes a local blog called Look What's Happening in Salem.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Humor and Child Development
After the last post, I started thinking about humor and how it is used. One very important thing to know is that a sense of humor develops as our brain's develop. Young children do not understand complex wit or sarcasm. In fact the use and understanding of sarcasm don't develop until sometime in the mid to late teens. Sarcastic humor can actually be very detrimental to children before they understand it's complexities.
Example: A popular student is having a bad day and complains about being picked on and how no one likes them.
Humor Response: (with a smile and a twist of humor) Oh, nobody likes you? That's probably true. Everyone always talks about how they can't stand to be around you. That must be why you always walk down the hall with about 25 friends!
For a student who has a developed sense of sarcasm, this is clearly a way of showing the silliness of their complaint. But imagine how a student who has not yet developed this sense might feel. They will take it literally. The incongruency of the last sentence from the first sentences will likely be lost on them. They will focus on the literal words that the teacher said and may take them to heart.
It pays to be careful and evaluate a child's ability to find humor in situations before using sarcasm with them. Some people develop this skill later in life, while some seem to never quite grasp sarcasm. Although sarcasm is a very fun and useful form of humor, it needs to be wielded with care.
For those able to grasp sarcasm, here are some fun cartoons on social issues such as body image, drug use, and overpopulation.
Rebekah Engle is a teacher in an alternative high school. She is very involved in her community and writes a local blog called Look What's Happening in Salem.
Example: A popular student is having a bad day and complains about being picked on and how no one likes them.
Humor Response: (with a smile and a twist of humor) Oh, nobody likes you? That's probably true. Everyone always talks about how they can't stand to be around you. That must be why you always walk down the hall with about 25 friends!
For a student who has a developed sense of sarcasm, this is clearly a way of showing the silliness of their complaint. But imagine how a student who has not yet developed this sense might feel. They will take it literally. The incongruency of the last sentence from the first sentences will likely be lost on them. They will focus on the literal words that the teacher said and may take them to heart.
It pays to be careful and evaluate a child's ability to find humor in situations before using sarcasm with them. Some people develop this skill later in life, while some seem to never quite grasp sarcasm. Although sarcasm is a very fun and useful form of humor, it needs to be wielded with care.
For those able to grasp sarcasm, here are some fun cartoons on social issues such as body image, drug use, and overpopulation.
Rebekah Engle is a teacher in an alternative high school. She is very involved in her community and writes a local blog called Look What's Happening in Salem.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Using Humor as a Tool
Getting a connection with a young person is imperative if you want to have any kind of influence in their life. Humor is a great way to keep things light while still dealing with real issues.
In my classroom the success of a student is directly related to how well I can connect to them. It is especially important for students who feel detached from education and from the education system. If I can use humor to break through the walls they have put up, I can usually get the connection needed for their success.
When you are teaching, in a classroom or just in life, you are asking kids to change the way they think, do things they've never done before, and push their boundaries. If that gets too intense, they often just give up. Humor helps lighten things up and make people happier (and happy people are much easier to teach than grumpy, negative people).
I use humor when I'm tired of asking a student to do the same thing a hundred times. Asking them in a humorous way makes them listen because it's not the same old thing they've been tuning out forever. It keeps me from having to be a nag and gets the whole class involved in a sort of positive peer pressure.
Humor also combats fear. You have to be willing to laugh at yourself and let them see that you make mistakes and that it doesn't stop you from moving on. It combats fear (of failure, looking dumb, making mistakes, being laughed at, etc) and it is comforting to know that other people aren't going to take every little thing too seriously.
For more humor resources on social issues click here.
Rebekah Engle is a teacher in an alternative high school. She is very involved in her community and writes a local blog called Look What's Happening in Salem.
In my classroom the success of a student is directly related to how well I can connect to them. It is especially important for students who feel detached from education and from the education system. If I can use humor to break through the walls they have put up, I can usually get the connection needed for their success.
When you are teaching, in a classroom or just in life, you are asking kids to change the way they think, do things they've never done before, and push their boundaries. If that gets too intense, they often just give up. Humor helps lighten things up and make people happier (and happy people are much easier to teach than grumpy, negative people).
I use humor when I'm tired of asking a student to do the same thing a hundred times. Asking them in a humorous way makes them listen because it's not the same old thing they've been tuning out forever. It keeps me from having to be a nag and gets the whole class involved in a sort of positive peer pressure.
Humor also combats fear. You have to be willing to laugh at yourself and let them see that you make mistakes and that it doesn't stop you from moving on. It combats fear (of failure, looking dumb, making mistakes, being laughed at, etc) and it is comforting to know that other people aren't going to take every little thing too seriously.
For more humor resources on social issues click here.
Rebekah Engle is a teacher in an alternative high school. She is very involved in her community and writes a local blog called Look What's Happening in Salem.
3 Reasons Kids Abuse Drugs and Alcohol
There are many factors that affect the use of drugs and alcohol among teens in today's society. In my observation, there are three main things that negatively impact a young person's decisions regarding drugs and alcohol.
1. Their friends are doing it.
And we're not just talking peer pressure here. Pressure is a factor, but even more important is the fact that teens will have access to drugs and alcohol through their friends. The other issue is that it's not much fun to hang out with a group of friends who are drunk or high if you are not in the same altered state. It's a subtle, but powerful, form of peer pressure.
2. Their parents or family are doing it.
If parents drink or do drugs, the likelihood is that the children will have the opportunity to access drugs and alcohol. Children are likely to emulate their parents and if they see them drinking or smoking pot (even in moderation) they will often pick up the same habits.
Unfortunately, kids don't always have the maturity to see that their parents practice moderation. When the child picks up the habit, it can have very bad results.
3. They don't have other options
Most kids actually do have other options, but it's very hard to see them if the bad choices are easily accessible. If drugs and alcohol are the options your friends and family are choosing, it's pretty hard to veer off that path. If options likes sports or other activities are available, kids will often to choose to do something productive. If all their friends are participating in paintball tournaments, the likelihood is that the teen will choose to do paintball activities rather than sit around drinking or doing drugs by themselves.
Of course, once an addiction has been started, it is much more difficult to make good choices. The trick is to keep kids active and help them find friends and activities that don't give them access to drugs or alcohol. And I realize that can be a real trick sometimes. But I think it's worth working towards if it means we can keep kids clean and sober.
For more good influences and tools for keeping kids clean and sober, check out this link.
Rebekah Engle is a teacher in an alternative high school. She is very involved in her community and writes a local blog called Look What's Happening in Salem.
1. Their friends are doing it.
And we're not just talking peer pressure here. Pressure is a factor, but even more important is the fact that teens will have access to drugs and alcohol through their friends. The other issue is that it's not much fun to hang out with a group of friends who are drunk or high if you are not in the same altered state. It's a subtle, but powerful, form of peer pressure.
2. Their parents or family are doing it.
If parents drink or do drugs, the likelihood is that the children will have the opportunity to access drugs and alcohol. Children are likely to emulate their parents and if they see them drinking or smoking pot (even in moderation) they will often pick up the same habits.
Unfortunately, kids don't always have the maturity to see that their parents practice moderation. When the child picks up the habit, it can have very bad results.
3. They don't have other options
Most kids actually do have other options, but it's very hard to see them if the bad choices are easily accessible. If drugs and alcohol are the options your friends and family are choosing, it's pretty hard to veer off that path. If options likes sports or other activities are available, kids will often to choose to do something productive. If all their friends are participating in paintball tournaments, the likelihood is that the teen will choose to do paintball activities rather than sit around drinking or doing drugs by themselves.
Of course, once an addiction has been started, it is much more difficult to make good choices. The trick is to keep kids active and help them find friends and activities that don't give them access to drugs or alcohol. And I realize that can be a real trick sometimes. But I think it's worth working towards if it means we can keep kids clean and sober.
For more good influences and tools for keeping kids clean and sober, check out this link.
Rebekah Engle is a teacher in an alternative high school. She is very involved in her community and writes a local blog called Look What's Happening in Salem.
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